Let us know about flattering and its nature/limitations in the light of Quran and Sunnah.
As soon as the meeting finished, and all the members started coming out of the meeting room. Mehmood rushed to shake hand with his new boss Yusuf.” You explained every thing so well and perfect sir ! I m sure we are going to get this contract. ! I felt it that our clients were also getting impressed”, said mehmood while shaking his hand with boss. Along with other job tasks, Yusuf had to sent progress reports of all the employees working in his team. and their promotion based on that progress report heavily. should mehmood say this statement of praise ?
A man praised another man in front of the Prophet. The Prophet(PBUH) said thrice,
“Wailaka (Woe on you) ! You have cut the neck of your brother!.”
The Prophet(PBUH) added.
“If it is indispensable for anyone of you to praise a person, then he should say, “I think that such-and-such person (is so-and-so), and Allah is the one who will take his accounts (as he knows his reality) and none can sanctify anybody before Allah (and that only if he knows well about that person.)” Volume 8, Book 73, Number 183 : Narrated by Abu Bakra.
We should know that in principle it is permissible to praise people. and the scholars have put some conditions for this, among which is not to lie or exaggerate in praising. Now here we should be careful, there is difference between flattering , encouraging and praising . Flattering or praising is not just to say something kind about a person. Praising is to glorify especially by the attribution of perfections. Flattering is to praise excessively especially from motives of self-interest.
Different Situations of Flattering:
There can be certain situations where flattering could be not as prohibited as in normal circumstances .As for the husband, it is permissible for him to exaggerate in praising his wife because among the objectives of the Sharee’ah are the stability and continuation of the marital life and the continuation of affection between both spouses with the purpose of winning the wife’s love by showing one’s love to her.The husband may use general expressions in this respect. But if you are praising your boss with an intention of getting promotion, stop ! you are doing it wrong ! If you find some one doing a good job, or if any of your friend just won a debating competition , you can praise them , to encourage them , and boost up there motivation level for that act. But be mindful, still you are not going to praise about the quality one does not possess !
Be very careful while saying anything good or bad about anyone and be sure of your intention when doing something. May Allah save us from all kinds of harm Ameen. Being supportive and encouraging is not bad if done in the right way but praising someone in front of them is not something good because mostly people do it to make a good impression upon that person for their own reason.That reason could even be seeking good behavior or remarks in return
How true are the words of our beloved Prophet (S.A.W). Praising a person boosts up that person’s opinion of him or herself. He starts to think of himself at a higher level and if that person is at a higher level others are definitely at some other level… As the words make him/her think that he/she is doing great they become less productive as they are forced to believe that they are now at a higher level and need no improvements.
What should be your reaction if you are praised / flattered ?
What could be reaction of true believers when they are praised? They condemn themselves and are apprehensive about their deeds. If one of them is called ‘pious’ he fears what will be said of him and says:
‘I know myself better than you do. My Lord knows me better than I do. O Allah! Do not take me to task for what they are saying about me and (O Lord) make me better than they think. Forgive my sins which they do not know about.’ People praise you for what they suppose is in you; but you must blame your soul for what you know is in it.
So conclusively we can say that ;
Support but please don’t destroy and break the necks of your brothers and sisters… Do everything according to the teachings of the prophet (S.A.W) for that’s the only right way… And of course only Allah knows who is good and who is bad for He is our Creator… The All Powerful… The All Wise… Do we still dare to judge???
Jazakumullahu Khairan katheera.
Subhanakallahumma wa bi hamdika nashhadu an la ilaha illa anta nastaghfiruka wa natubu ilaik.